June 2023 Newsletter
Friends,
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctors?
A: It was feeling crummy.
Today, June 1, 2023 is my 16th wedding anniversary to my wife Amy. She is a genius. We’re in Newport, RI, so I’ll keep this short.
June is a month of high school and middle school graduations and I’m giving a shout to our daughter Frankie’s 8th grade graduation and stepping up to high school in the fall. She also is accepted into the Regional Center for the Arts. We also celebrate Father’s Day in June. So happy Father’s Day, happy graduation and happy June birthdays to everyone who falls in these categories.
Kind Regards,
Michael Antonini
What’s New
Thinking about downsizing? Please come visit me at this FREE event on Tuesday, June 6. Click here to register.
Ask an Expert: Howard Todd-Collins
10 Qualities of a Good Dad
By Howard Todd-Collins, Men and Relationships Counseling
Men are playing a more active role in parenting. They don’t just take the role of provider, protector, and disciplinarian in the family. Today the role of fatherhood has evolved and along with it men are now embracing a whole load of new
skills and values. How do men influence their kid’s development? By looking at how our kids see us we learn something about ourselves! Primary school kids in the U.S. were asked to describe what makes a good dad. They came up with the following:
“A good dad makes you feel safe”
“A good dad can protect his children from getting hurt”
“A good dad knows how to keep the bad guys away”
“A good dad always listens to Mum”
I’m not sure about the last comment! However, protection and safety emerge as important for our kids.
The research further explored the way children tend to see their dads as follows:
Safe
Strong
Comforting
Protecting
The hero
Teacher
Wise and knowledgeable
The notion that ‘just being there’ may not be enough to influence our kids’ growth and development. Researchers have developed and defined quite specific characteristics or attitudes of fatherhood in relation to the developmental needs of children. Here are 10 qualities that are proving significant, in helping our kids grow to be resilient, healthy individuals. In no particular order:
1. Dependability
Being there through thick and thin. This is not just being present and correct. It’s about being consistently available for our kids through good times and bad.
2. Involvement
Being personally engaged in our kids’ lives, interests, hopes and dreams on a daily basis. Being curious and attentive requires us to put our distractions to one side.
3. Compassion
Showing compassion, hope and belief when our child needs it most. Compassion is a state of mind or attitude that really helps us to feel connected and close to the human experience of being a child.
4. Valuing of mother
Showing respect and love of our kids’ mother. This isn’t about just always agreeing with mum! Valuing is similar to validating our partner for who they are with all their imperfections. Showing love and respect requires action, not just thoughts, and teaches our sons and daughters how to be treated.
5. Empathy
Listening empathically in order to be understanding, present and engaged. Putting ourselves into the shoes of others enables them to feel heard, respected and valued. Even if we don’t completely get it, or even like it!
6. Being verbally expressive
To clearly communicate, uphold guidelines, being tough yet fair, without belittling or being controlling.
7. Being human
To own mistakes, be open to feedback, and teach that growth is a lifelong endeavour. So, dad (and mum) get it wrong, sometimes! I reckon teaching our kids to be human means we have to show our own humanity, as often as possible.
8. Honesty
Teach and live by the values of honesty and integrity.
9. Playfulness
Showing delight in our children through fun and play. The benefits of dads playing has been researched, particularly the rough and tumble play. It teaches our kids to regulate their feelings and accept limits and boundaries.
10. Being industrious
Model a healthy work ethic as a source of personal accomplishment and satisfaction. This isn’t necessarily associated only with work; it’s a valuable attitude toward tasks in general.
Important Dates
Happy June Birthdays and Anniversaries!
June 4, 2023 4:41 AM EDT Full Strawberry Moon
June 6, 2023: DownSizeCT Event - Click here to register.
June 18, 2023: Happy Father’s Day!
June 21, 2023: 10:57 AM EDT Summer Solstice
Congratulations on your Graduation!
All the Best,
Michael
